Fortune News | Oct 09,2021
Aug 28 , 2021
By Kidist Yidnekachew
Some of us go to a bar to get a couple of drinks, either to unwind or to enjoy our own company. Not many people get this. They assume that people should not go to a bar, or even a restaurant, to be by themselves but to socialise. Enjoying one's company may as well be done at home, they insist. But this is not always the case. Such people want to save us from ourselves.
It is worse for women. A lady by herself at a bar immediately attracts the attention of some guy who often comes rushing to rescue her from her “loneliness” and offers a drink.
What happens if she refuses his advances?
No problem. He persists and stays there trying to convince her to drink. At some point, he may realise no means “no,” either in him or the drink. But he stays regardless, waiting for some kind of miracle.
Guys have the luxury of enjoying drinks by themselves without being bothered by strangers. Women are not as lucky. It is fine for a gentleman to walk up to me and ask if the chair is taken and if he could join me. If he is polite and when I explain that I just wanted some alone time, he could excuse himself and leave without any bitterness, the world would be a more livable place for women. But too many men often end up on my table without my consent and stay there even after I have made it abundantly clear that I am not interested in their company.
I encountered a similar incident in my neighbourhood recently. As I was walking past a bar, I heard someone yell my name. It was a neighbour of mine, an expat who does not speak Amharic but understands some words. There was urgency in her voice. I approached her and said hello. She invited me to join her.
“Sorry to bother you,” she said shortly after we sat down. “Could you pretend like we are friends and I was waiting for you? The guys across me are bothering me.”
I nodded my head and did what she asked. She had been through an ordeal. First, a guy came and sat next to her without even asking if the seat was taken or if she was expecting someone. He began to chat her up but while she understood what he was saying she pretended she did not, adding that she was busy. Then he called the waitress and asked her to bring beer for them.
“Did I ask you to buy me beer?” she responded angrily. “Did you ask if I wanted beer? I told you that I wasn’t interested and to leave me alone.”
He left for his friends afterwards. They talked about something and then the guy returned. They must have encouraged him to take another shot.
“So I got up and changed my table. Right at the moment, I saw you passing by and I screamed your name so you would rescue me,” she added, cracking a smile.
It is not hard to understand what she must have felt like. All I could offer was advice that sports bars, where we were, are magnets for these kinds of guys.
“I don’t know why people don’t respect your privacy and it's not only in places like this,” she said.
Once in a taxi, when she was looking for something in her bag, the guy next to her was following her with his eyes and nearly touched her bag. When she asked what he wanted, he just looked away. I cannot count the number of times someone took a peep at my phone while I had it out in a taxi. I can see them from the corner of my eye as their eyes follow my hand gesture, or feel them eavesdropping if I was talking on the phone. It is creepy.
It is in many of our cultures to have a lack of boundaries and fail to respect people’s privacy. We offer interventions when it is neither asked for by a person nor needed. It is just an invasion of privacy, of which many men are guilty.
PUBLISHED ON
Aug 28,2021 [ VOL
22 , NO
1113]
Fortune News | Oct 09,2021
Radar | Jul 31,2021
Fortune News | Jul 08,2019
Fortune News | May 23,2020
Radar | Jul 13,2019
Viewpoints | May 11,2023
Radar | Sep 11,2020
Radar | Nov 26,2022
Fortune News | Dec 25,2022
Radar | Oct 17,2022
Photo Gallery | 94088 Views | May 06,2019
Photo Gallery | 86359 Views | Apr 26,2019
My Opinion | 66195 Views | Aug 14,2021
Commentaries | 65550 Views | Oct 02,2021
Feb 24 , 2024 . By MUNIR SHEMSU
Abel Yeshitila, a real estate developer with a 12-year track record, finds himself unable to sell homes in his latest venture. Despite slash...
Feb 10 , 2024 . By MUNIR SHEMSU
In his last week's address to Parliament, Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed (PhD) painted a picture of an economy...
Jan 7 , 2024
In the realm of international finance and diplomacy, few cities hold the distinction that Addis Abeba doe...
Sep 30 , 2023 . By AKSAH ITALO
On a chilly morning outside Ke'Geberew Market, Yeshi Chane, a 35-year-old mother cradling her seven-month-old baby, stands amidst the throng...
Mar 23 , 2024
Addis Abeba has been experiencing rapid expansion over the past two decades. While se...
Mar 16 , 2024
In a striking move that has rattled the corridors of Ethiopia's export sector, the Mi...
Mar 9 , 2024
Mamo Mehiretu's tenure at the central bank's helm is marked by a distinct shift in fo...
Mar 1 , 2024
In the corridors of the Ministry of Finance, on King George IV St., a recent visit by...
Mar 23 , 2024
A microcosm of Addis Abeba's vibrant yet convulsive changeover unfolds in the jammed corridors of the Arada District Land Management & A...
Ethiopia's decades-old energy policy is evolving rapidly, opening doors for private sector involvement in...
Mar 23 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Minister of Finance Ahmed Shide has intensified efforts to enforce mandatory domestic procurements across...
Mar 23 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
A policy measure that favoured steel importers over manufacturers was laid out as the major issue for the...