Viewpoints | Mar 09,2019
Nov 30 , 2024
By Carolyn Kissane
Our choices come with hidden social costs. Sometimes, they are as trivial as deciding where to shop, but even these small decisions can reveal the dynamics of human interactions and the pressures that come with them.
Last week, I found myself taking an unfamiliar route home. It was not because I wanted a change of scenery or was exploring new path. It was because of a three-liter bottle of cooking oil I had bought from a merchant other than my neighborhood shopkeeper. I knew my usual shop only sold oil in one-liter or five-liter quantities, but that wasn’t the only issue. The shopkeeper has a knack for making customers feel scrutinized, slipping in comments about their choices. He would say that we only come to his store when it suits us, half-joking, half-serious. I did not want to face that critique, so I detoured to avoid him.
This minor evasion got me thinking about the weight we give to others’ opinions and how it shapes our behaviors. My decision was not about saving face but about maintaining a sense of peace. Yet, the irony was not lost on me. By avoiding a brief, potentially uncomfortable interaction, I had created more discomfort for myself—a longer walk, the weight of the oil, and the gnawing self-awareness of having gone out of my way to dodge an imagined judgment.
Living within a community feels like living under constant observation. It is not always malicious; people take note of routines, preferences, and absences as a natural part of sharing a space. But this benign surveillance can sometimes morph into a subtle form of control. The shopkeeper’s comment was a reminder of the unspoken rules that demand loyalty, reciprocity, and acknowledgment.
Every choice is a statement. But how often do we weigh our decisions against the potential judgment of others?
For many, this mental calculation is an automatic reflex. Whether it is choosing what to wear, deciding what to say, or determining the best route home, we are constantly assessing how our actions might be perceived.
This emotional tax can be exhausting. It creates a constant tension between our needs and the expectations of those around us. It also breeds a culture of avoidance, where moments of potential confrontation are sidestepped instead of addressed. My decision to take a detour was a textbook example: I prioritised avoiding discomfort over efficiency, only to end up feeling more burdened.
Moments like these beg the question: How do we reclaim our authenticity in a world deeply connected with expectations? Perhaps it starts with small acts of courage and choosing to face a shopkeeper’s critique, expressing an unpopular opinion, or simply letting go of the need to explain ourselves. These acts might feel risky in the moment, but they are also opportunities to reinforce our autonomy.
Communities thrive on connection, and connection requires vulnerability. But vulnerability does not mean conformity. It means showing up as we are, even when it feels uncomfortable. The next time I find myself weighed down by others’ judgments, I will try to remember that the path of least resistance is not always the one that leads home.
PUBLISHED ON
Nov 30,2024 [ VOL
25 , NO
1283]
Viewpoints | Mar 09,2019
Viewpoints | Nov 04,2023
View From Arada | Sep 11,2020
Life Matters | Nov 12,2022
Radar | Jan 24,2026
Viewpoints | Jun 21,2025
Featured | Jan 05,2020
Featured | Apr 22,2022
My Opinion | Dec 04,2020
Sunday with Eden | Jun 29,2024
Photo Gallery | 191006 Views | May 06,2019
Photo Gallery | 180789 Views | Apr 26,2019
Photo Gallery | 177461 Views | Oct 06,2021
My Opinion | 143100 Views | Aug 14,2021
Dec 22 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Charged with transforming colossal state-owned enterprises into modern and competitiv...
Aug 18 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Although predictable Yonas Zerihun's job in the ride-hailing service is not immune to...
Jul 28 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Unhabitual, perhaps too many, Samuel Gebreyohannes, 38, used to occasionally enjoy a couple of beers at breakfast. However, he recently swit...
Jul 13 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Investors who rely on tractors, trucks, and field vehicles for commuting, transporting commodities, and f...
Jul 4 , 2026
In the goldfields of the Benishangul-Gumuz Regional State, Ethiopia's balance-of-paym...
Jun 27 , 2026
The federal legislative house rushed through one of the country's most contentious ho...
When Parliament takes up the appropriation bill, federal legislators will receive a d...
Jun 13 , 2026
The recent policy decision to fully open freight forwarding to foreign capital may be...
Jul 7 , 2026
The health sector remains underprovided despite rising public spending, Prime Ministe...
Jul 7 , 2026
Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed (PhD) delivered one of his bluntest rebukes yet to the coun...
Jul 7 , 2026
Prime Minister Abiy answered his critics with a mix of gratitude and edge, thanking l...
Jul 7 , 2026
A ruling-party lawmaker, Mohammed Ahmed, called the Chamber to its feet for Prime Min...
Loading your updates...