Curbing Lavish Parties for Goodwill

Feb 18 , 2023
By Carolyn Kissane

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I attended a birthday party that seemed like a wedding over the weekend. I must admit it is the first birthday to be at where there was no cake or bread but instead a feast of food and local drinks. The host belongs to the lower middle class in the economic class system so I expected a small gathering. To my surprise, many people were in attendance. I guess borrowing money or tapping into savings to throw a fancy party only to suffer the aftermath is the new normal.

I believe the main reason for throwing extravagant parties is to impress or set particular standards for others. Perhaps it is worth going all out when celebrating a child's first-year birthday, graduation and wedding marks important milestones and it gives pleasure to the hosts and the celebrant. But throwing a party while hanging by a thread is negligence, especially for those who are on the lower curve of the economic class.

There is a popular Amharic saying I use when observing this type of situation, loosely translated as ' a person who will not be rich spends money on the rich.' In my experience it is usually the less wealthy who spend money while they should be saving; inviting people to their houses, sharing their hard-earned money with the less fortunate, and taking gifts when visiting friends and families.

I am not portraying it as a bad gesture; it is actually a noble act. These people are good neighbours, friends and family members because their principle in life is to give and share. One does not need to lead a luxurious life to truly live a fulfilling life. They may not build empires or become millionaires but have something sufficient, they are content in life.  But one has to cut down expenses and increase earnings in order to advance economically. It seems like they have given up the prospect of becoming rich, living for the moment.

I noticed the generosity of the hosts as well. Although at times the majestic treatment gets beyond measures and may become forceful to empty the plate and add more than the stomach can take. It is often extended to prominent people as a way of showing respect and love. This culture of caring for one another, sharing what we have and welcoming guests makes me proud. I just hope we apply it in our daily lives and make it a habit to share with the less fortunate as opposed to overfeeding.

The insane expenses on celebrations, leave me perplexed and wondering, is it selfish and inconsiderate having thousands fighting for survival unable to provide for their families to even manage a single decent meal once a day?

It is true money changes people. The ability to afford things they only dreamed about is overwhelming for some, and in the process lose sight of what is important, forget where they started and care less about others.

How money is spent matters. Some people do not mind 'making it rain' in the clubs or spending a ridiculous amount of money on unnecessary items. They dig their own graves with money while others use it to make a difference.

People that are planning grand parties should consider helping out the less fortunate. They may take it upon themselves to pay it forward when they get the chance. Even if they would not be able to repay, someone in a position to help others should take it as a privilege.

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PUBLISHED ON Feb 18,2023 [ VOL 23 , NO 1190]

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