Sunday with Eden | Jun 08,2024
Jan 21 , 2023
By Carolyn Kissane
I found myself in an awkward situation one of the days last week. The plan was to have lunch with two of my friends, but one of them was fashionably late, so we started chatting while having a macchiato.
My friend led off with how she felt left out, ignored, and unappreciated in the friendship. I sympathized with her and tried to listen to her valid expressions while trying to give my point of view. Suddenly, she redirected the blame, saying inappropriate things about the other friend. I was quick to defend our mutual friend, in absentia, but my attempt was unsuccessful.
I could not leave as we were both waiting for the same friend, who had become the subject of our conversation. Staying quiet was the only option I could think of then, hoping the friend would take it as a cue to stop. It did not work.
The 'friend' finally arrived after what seemed like an eternity. To my surprise, she greeted her warmly as not she uttered foul incentive a few minutes ago. The whole vibe changed immediately. I was perplexed but remained shushed while they engaged each other and, in the meantime, unsure whether or not to put the batter on the table, trying to make sense of it all.
I kept hinting at my friend to pour her heart out, expecting her to explain herself instead of using strong words behind her back that could jeopardize our friendship. But she changed topics one after the other evading the matter.
After a few minutes, she got up and left for the bathroom.
The newcomer took turns in belittling the other friend. The saying what goes around comes around struck my mind as she conveyed her ill feelings towards the friend.
With shock, I responded that the way she greeted her looked like nothing but an interaction between best friends. Her response was that she did not intend to hurt her feelings and rather pretence was easier. It was better to not stand each other, rather than sham how indifferent they felt. At that moment, I was unsure if either of my friends liked me. I wondered if they would talk about me in my absence the same way they were talking about each other. I immediately pushed the thought away from my head.
A few minutes later, my friend returned from the bathroom. All I hoped to do was be honest and stop them from pretending and talking behind each other's backs. But also thought I could destroy the many years of built friendship and that it is better to keep quiet.
There will be moments when one is required to speak up. People speak when moved, angered by injustice, or have strong emotions to express. But in everyday patty conversations, speaking from the mind could sever a relationship, whereas staying quiet could salvage it.
Keeping something to self could be a blessing and a curse. Suffering to keep the peace could come off as a good gesture but not speaking up against injustice regards a person as a coward.
I believe close friends, at least, should not be offended. Sometimes criticism comes from love and a mindset that wishes to change the mind of those close to us. Although what seems wrong to one person might be right for the other.
Having an open mind to understand others is essential, an honest opinion that expresses internal desire is vital.
I wanted to speak the truth and stand up for what I thought was right, but I left at bay. The fear of offending people or hurting their feelings got the better of me. Maybe that is the case with my friends, but I learned that expressing our true feelings is not always easy.
PUBLISHED ON
Jan 21,2023 [ VOL
23 , NO
1186]
Sunday with Eden | Jun 08,2024
My Opinion | Nov 27,2018
Commentaries | Jul 17,2022
Verbatim | Apr 15,2023
Life Matters | Feb 01,2020
Radar | Apr 04,2020
Viewpoints | Sep 18,2021
Fortune News | Apr 13,2024
Sunday with Eden | Sep 11,2020
Radar | Jan 11,2020
My Opinion | 125782 Views | Aug 14,2021
My Opinion | 121905 Views | Aug 21,2021
My Opinion | 120070 Views | Sep 10,2021
My Opinion | 118008 Views | Aug 07,2021
Dec 22 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Charged with transforming colossal state-owned enterprises into modern and competitiv...
Aug 18 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Although predictable Yonas Zerihun's job in the ride-hailing service is not immune to...
Jul 28 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Unhabitual, perhaps too many, Samuel Gebreyohannes, 38, used to occasionally enjoy a couple of beers at breakfast. However, he recently swit...
Jul 13 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Investors who rely on tractors, trucks, and field vehicles for commuting, transporting commodities, and f...
Mar 9 , 2025
Five years ago, 11 non-governmental organisations (NGOs), together with 40 allies acr...
Mar 2 , 2025
The domestic economy has endured a punishing half-decade. A global pandemic throttled...
Feb 23 , 2025
Africa is a place where the frustrations of its elites run high due to what they feel...
Feb 16 , 2025
Madame Kristalina Georgieva, managing director of the International Monetary Fund (IM...
The producer of ‘Arki' water, SBG Industry Plc has been forced to suspend operation...
Mar 9 , 2025 . By AKSAH ITALO
Kegna Beverages S.C. is making a 250 million dollar investment in the beer market, as...
Mar 9 , 2025 . By BEZAWIT HULUAGER
A bill mandating an international financial reporting standard has intensified the fr...
Mar 14 , 2025 . By AKSAH ITALO
Brook Taye (PhD), CEO of Ethiopian Investment Holdings, has announced the appointment...
Loading your updates...