What We Carry From the Classroom Doesn't Stay There

Apr 4 , 2026
By Eden Sahle

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A casual gathering revealed a stark divide in how people experience school. While some recall encouragement and support, many describe environments shaped by fear and intimidation. These early experiences continue to influence confidence and behavior into adulthood. As a result, parents are increasingly prioritising emotional safety when choosing schools for their children. The shift notes a growing recognition that learning depends as much on environment as it does on curriculum.

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The conversation began casually, the way many do at social gatherings. It was a Sunday after-party, months after a wedding that had first brought people together. There was laughter, light food, and the easy curiosity of people meeting again in a more relaxed setting. Strangers became acquaintances. Acquaintances began to share pieces of their lives.

My husband, Mike, and I found ourselves in a small circle where introductions quickly gave way to deeper questions about work, family, and upbringing. What started as polite conversation soon turned revealing.

At some point, the topic shifted to school. Mike reflected on his own experience, speaking with warmth about his teachers, especially those at Ethio Parents School. He described how their encouragement, discipline, and belief in his abilities shaped his attitude toward learning. He was a top-performing student, but listening to him, it was clear that his success was not just about effort or ability. It was about the environment that supported both.

He recalled one teacher in particular, his mathematics teacher, who did more than teach formulas. The teacher sparked curiosity and confidence that stayed long after the classroom.

The response from the group was unexpected. Instead of shared stories, there was surprise. One by one, people began to describe very different experiences. Their memories of school were shaped less by encouragement and more by fear. Teachers, who should have guided them, were remembered as sources of humiliation, intimidation, and at times, outright harm.

As they spoke, the tone shifted. Laughter faded. In its place came stories that were difficult to ignore. Some recalled being publicly shamed for small mistakes. Others spoke of being labeled failures at a young age, words that followed them into adulthood. There were accounts of physical punishment that crossed into harm. More striking were the emotional effects, the quiet damage caused by constant criticism and fear.

These were not isolated accounts. Different backgrounds, same pattern. For many, school was not a place of growth. It was something to endure.

Yet the conversation shifted again when it turned to their children. The same people who described harsh schooling spoke with relief about the schools their children now attend. They described environments that are more structured, more supportive, and more attentive to both academic and emotional needs.

Most have made significant sacrifices to send their children to private schools. The decision reflects more than aspiration. It reflects a determination to avoid repeating what they experienced.

One story stood out. A young girl had run away from home after a small incident at school. She had written in a friend’s exercise book. Her teacher threatened to report her. The fear of that consequence pushed her to flee rather than face what she believed would be severe punishment. The room fell quiet. The reaction said enough.

Children look to adults for direction. Parents and teachers shape how they see themselves and the world. When that influence is steady and supportive, it builds confidence, curiosity, and resilience. When it leans on fear, it creates anxiety, self-doubt, and lasting scars. The difference often comes down to small, daily interactions. A word of encouragement. A moment of patience. A willingness to listen.

Education is often reduced to grades, exams, and outcomes. That misses the point. Children do not learn well in environments where they feel unsafe or judged. Fear may produce compliance. It does not produce understanding.

Teachers carry more than subject knowledge into the classroom. They shape the environment in which learning happens. A supportive teacher can open doors that last a lifetime. A harsh one can close them just as quickly.

Parents face a similar responsibility. Respect matters, but when it is rooted in fear, communication breaks down. Children who fear punishment tend to hide mistakes rather than address them. Over time, that silence creates larger problems. A better balance is possible, one where expectations are clear and empathy remains present.

The stories shared that evening were not just reflections of the past. They pointed to an ongoing shift. Parents are placing greater weight on emotional well-being alongside academic performance. The expectation is changing. A good school is no longer measured only by results, but by how it treats its students.

That expectation should not be limited to a few institutions. Every child deserves a learning environment that is safe and supportive. Education should develop both the mind and the individual.

Creating that environment requires deliberate effort. Schools need to invest in teacher training that goes beyond subject delivery to include communication, empathy, and classroom management without harm. Systems must protect students and provide clear ways to report concerns.

The conversation ended without resolution, but with clarity. The impact of early experiences, positive or negative, does not fade easily. It shapes confidence, choices, and memory.

The lesson is simple. Children need to feel safe, supported, and valued. Without that, learning struggles to take hold. With it, the effects last far beyond the classroom.

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PUBLISHED ON Apr 04,2026 [ VOL 27 , NO 1353]

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