
My Opinion | 122657 Views | Aug 14,2021
Feb 1 , 2025
By Eden Sahle
Marriage is meant to be a lifelong bond, built on love, trust, and commitment. It is a promise to stand together through life’s challenges.
Yet, divorce rates in Addis Abeba are soaring, raising concerns about how this sacred institution is being tested in today’s fast-paced, individualistic society. For some, marriage seems to be reduced to a social media event, wedding photos today, divorce announcements tomorrow. The speed and frequency of separations are alarming.
The Civil Registration and Residency Services Agency (CRRSA) recently reported a 34pc increase in divorces compared to last year, with 3,769 couples separating in just six months. These are not just statistics; they represent broken families, distressed children, and communities struggling with fractured relationships.
Divorce, even when justified, leaves deep scars, especially on children. Psychologists warn that children from broken homes often struggle with self-esteem, identity, and future relationships. Many internalise parental conflicts, leading to emotional wounds that can take years, if not a lifetime, to heal.
The public nature of modern divorces is an additional worry. Social media has become a battleground where individuals air grievances about failed marriages, sharing intimate details that may bring temporary relief but have long-term consequences, especially for children.
Such public disputes not only damage reputations but also create emotional confusion for children caught in the middle. The hostility makes reconciliation nearly impossible and deepens divisions that might have been healed over time.
Marriage comes with lifelong consequences, yet many enter it unprepared. Even after separation, parents must remember their responsibilities to their children. Sadly, some drag their children into conflicts, creating hostility and resentment. This damages their emotional well-being and hinders their ability to form healthy relationships in the future.
Regardless of their differences, parents share a lifelong bond through their children. Shielding them from divorce-related trauma and co-parenting amicably can make a big difference in their emotional development.
Marriage demands effort, understanding, and sacrifice. Yet, many enter it with unrealistic expectations, focusing more on the wedding spectacle than the marriage itself.
I recall a story shared during pre-marital counselling, a young couple from a wealthy family had a lavish wedding with luxury cars and a mansion as gifts. The very next morning, they wanted to return to their parents' homes and immediately filed for divorce. This real-life tragedy shows how some fail to understand the difference between a wedding and a marriage.
Before I got married, my husband and I committed to pre-marital counselling with experienced couples. We wanted a lasting marriage, so we sought wisdom from those who had navigated decades of married life. For over a year, we immersed ourselves in lessons, with the last six months being particularly intense. No topic was off-limits.
We learned about the realities of living together, differing upbringings, and the importance of prioritising our bond. We were taught how to communicate openly, resolve conflicts without judgment, and manage finances wisely. The lessons even covered uncontrollable life challenges like fertility issues and how to handle them gracefully.
Most importantly, we were taught to protect our marriage from external interference, to be emotionally and financially independent from our families.
One of the most valuable lessons was learning the importance of boundaries, both within our families and with others, regarding our marriage. We were advised never to discuss marital issues with family or friends, as it often worsens conflicts. Instead, we were encouraged to seek guidance from spiritual leaders or mentors who could offer unbiased advice.
The premarital counselling experience was transformative. By the time we walked down the aisle, we were not only prepared but deeply committed to nurturing our relationship. In over two years of marriage and parenthood, the wisdom we gained continues to guide us.
Many couples I know who went through premarital counselling ended up parting ways before saying "I do." Others used the lessons to build lasting, happy marriages. Interestingly, the same advice that helped some walk away also helped others stay together, sparing both from the heartache of divorce. This indicates how important such counselling is, it offers clarity, strengthens bonds, and paves the way for healthier futures.
Psychologists suggest that the rise in divorce rates is due to a culture of instant gratification in modern society. Many people approach relationships with the mindset that if something is not working, it is easier to walk away than fix it. This view overlooks the truth: marriage requires patience, effort, forgiveness, love, and resilience.
In an age where people can swipe left or right to find a partner, the idea of working through hurdles may seem outdated. However, true love and commitment are not about avoiding difficulties but facing them together. A successful marriage is not one free of conflict, but one where both partners are willing to resolve issues with love, mutual respect, and understanding.
Our premarital counselling mentor often said that marriage is not just about two people but also about the legacy they create together. Whether raising children, building a home or business, or contributing to the community, a strong marriage can positively impact society.
As a happily married woman, I can say that marriage is one of life’s most profound commitments. A society must work to preserve the sanctity of marriage by promoting love, understanding, resilience, and mutual respect.
Those who consider marriage should remember that it is not just a milestone, but a lifelong journey. They should be prepared for it, invest in it, and honour it.
PUBLISHED ON
Feb 01,2025 [ VOL
25 , NO
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