The Patchwork Quilt of Pregnancy Advice

Aug 5 , 2023
By Eden Sahle

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Five months ago, my husband and I found out the exciting news of our lives; we were expecting our first child.

The excitement came with a need to adjust to a new lifestyle including gaining some weight to be able to nurture and carry our baby.

I was severely underweight for my height but following my doctor's advice to start eating healthy and exercising, I began to gain weight. I was amazed by the changes. My skin started to glow while my hair grew long and thick. I felt stronger, healthier and more beautiful than ever.

The pregnancy glow became apparent, especially for people who had seen my unhealthy appearance in the months following the grief of my father.

The compliments unveiled stereotypes about the gender of the baby long before the ultrasound was able to detect it.

The women in my life cited the mild morning sickness and radiance as unmistakable signs associated with carrying a boy. They said that my lack of cravings for unhealthy foods and non-food items was a surefire indication of my baby's gender and the high placement of the bump was further evidence.

I had to ask what they would say about a girl which was met with a litany of horror stories.

Apparently, I would have unrelenting morning sickness and nausea with ravaged skin and disfiguring dark patches if I was carrying a girl as if she would be sucking the beauty out of me. I would be irritable and depressed with a low baby bump causing me agonising pain, discomfort and constipation.

I would indulge in unhealthy foods and crave non-food items. While craving clay is associated with iron deficiency, I was alarmed to hear them associating it with carrying a baby girl.

It was astounding to learn that the prejudice and bias that girls face begin even before they are born.

It is more concerning that such preconceived notions are being perpetuated by women and mothers themselves. They were probably told the same thing but should have known better after experiencing it.

Eventually, the time had come to end the assumptions and unwarranted expectations; the prenatal ultrasound. The doctor gave the sealed letter to our family, who wished to throw us a gender reveal party. They were convinced by the idea that some even dressed in all blue to the party.

The ultrasound result revealed that wombs are not gender-discriminatory. We are having a baby girl.

My husband and I were overjoyed with the result. Our focus was never on gender but on having a healthy baby. Strangely enough, the people stood by their assumption and believed there was a mistake. They cautioned us not to buy so many girl outfits trusting the ultrasound just yet.

While ultrasound used to make gender errors back in the day with 3D technology imaging, its accuracy is unquestionable these days. Meanwhile, what these people are saying is nothing more than lore.

The ancient stories about pregnancy have been debunked by science as pregnancy is a unique experience for every woman. Some women's pregnancies are smooth sailing, while others are more challenging. The gender of the baby is not a predictor of how difficult or easy pregnancy will be while the shape of a woman's baby bump is more influenced by her height and weight.

My doctor explained that the position of my baby bump is due to the fact that my abdominal muscles have not yet stretched out as a first-time expectant mother, which tends to change with subsequent pregnancy.

The position of the baby in the womb can also contribute to the variation in bump size and shape. It is important to remember that every pregnancy is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to baby bumps.

As a first-time mother-to-be, I found it to be a time of excitement and anticipation, brimming with questions. But the information I receive from other mothers is bits and pieces of truth and folklore. I opted to rely on medical doctors and books written by qualified professionals to know more about pregnancy and childbirth while factually correcting wrong assumptions.

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PUBLISHED ON Aug 05,2023 [ VOL 24 , NO 1214]

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