The Happiness Myth That Keeps People Stuck

The Happiness Myth That Keeps People Stuck

Dec 20 , 2025. By Eden Sahle ( Eden Sahle is founder and CEO of Yada Technology Plc. She has studied law with a focus on international economic law. She can be reached at edensah2000@gmail.com. )

The belief that happiness follows success has shaped modern life, yet evidence points in the opposite direction. Happiness, according to decades of research, fuels productivity, creativity, and resilience. Defined as a system of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose, it can be practised even during hardship. The result is not constant joy, but durable well-being.

We talk about happiness constantly, yet rarely with any depth. It appears in our language as a reflex rather than a concept, Like “I am happy for you,” something we say when a friend marries, lands a job, or reaches a long-awaited milestone. In those moments, happiness feels temporary, a brief emotional reward handed out when life behaves.

That casual treatment hides a deeper assumption: that happiness is either granted or withheld by fate. Some people are described as naturally cheerful, others as permanently gloomy. The idea sounds harmless, even comforting, but it quietly strips people of agency. If happiness is fixed, then effort is pointless and disappointment feels inevitable.

Arthur C. Brooks, a Harvard professor and one of the most influential researchers on well-being, rejects this assumption outright. His work, built on decades of research spanning psychology, neuroscience, economics and philosophy, offers a blunt correction. Happiness, he argues, is not a personality trait or a stroke of luck. It is a skill.

That distinction matters. Skills can be learned, strengthened, and practised under imperfect conditions. This view pulls happiness out of the realm of wishful thinking and places it squarely within human effort, even when life is strained, uncertain, or unfair.

Brooks also challenges a common confusion: happiness is not the same as pleasure. Momentary positive emotion is real, but it is not durable. Instead, he defines happiness as a system with three components, enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose each playing a distinct role.

Enjoyment combines pleasure with connection. Neuroscience shows that shared experiences register more deeply in the brain than solitary ones. A meal, a conversation, or a shared laugh carries more emotional weight than a luxury enjoyed alone. This explains why social bonds, not material upgrades, tend to anchor people during difficult periods.

Satisfaction is quieter. It is rooted in contentment, in learning to want what is already present rather than living in constant anticipation of the next improvement. Purpose adds the final layer. It grows out of meaning, values, and contribution beyond the self. When people feel persistently unhappy, Brooks suggests it is often because one of these elements has been neglected, not because happiness is out of reach.

Another belief Brooks dismantles is the idea that happiness follows success. Modern life promotes a rigid script: work harder, earn more, achieve more, then happiness will arrive as payment. Research tells a different story. People who report higher levels of happiness tend to be more productive, more creative, and more resilient. Over time, they often build stronger relationships and better careers.

Success does not generate happiness; happiness helps generate success. Waiting to feel fulfilled until a certain goal is reached usually leads to disappointment, because the goalposts shift. Psychologists describe this pattern as the hedonic treadmill, where each achievement briefly lifts mood before becoming ordinary, leaving people in a constant state of pursuit.

Brooks is particularly critical of the modern fixation on pleasure. Pleasure, driven largely by dopamine, is intense but short-lived. It fades quickly and demands repetition, which explains why consumption and comparison rarely lead to lasting fulfilment.

Enjoyment, by contrast, lasts longer because it includes human connection. This difference sheds light on the rise of loneliness, even in societies that are wealthier and more technologically connected than ever. Comfort and convenience cannot replace belonging. Humans are social by nature, and happiness weakens when life is lived in isolation.

Satisfaction, according to Brooks’ research, does not come from getting more of what we want. It comes from wanting less. Gratitude plays a central role, not as a vague sentiment but as an intentional practice. People who regularly reflect on what is good in their lives—particularly in close relationships such as marriage, report higher life satisfaction and lower anxiety.

Importantly, Brooks does not argue for ignoring pain. Happiness is not the absence of suffering. It is the ability to hold gratitude and hardship at the same time without allowing suffering to erase meaning.

Pain, while deeply uncomfortable, often becomes a catalyst for growth. Studies on post-traumatic growth show that a large majority of people who experience profound loss later report greater clarity, gratitude, and purpose. They are not thankful for the trauma itself, but for the resilience and perspective that emerged from it. This aligns with Brooks’ broader view: hardship can deepen happiness rather than destroy it.

Purpose gives happiness its staying power. It is the strongest contributor to long-term well-being because it outlasts comfort and pleasure. Purpose does not require public recognition or grand ambition. It can be found in raising a family, serving a community, practising faith, mentoring others, or doing work that feels meaningful.

Brooks notes that people are happiest when their lives are oriented outward. When life revolves only around status, achievement, or personal comfort, happiness becomes fragile. When it revolves around love, contribution, and meaning, it becomes more resilient, even during loss or transition.

This perspective is especially relevant in midlife, a phase Brooks examines closely. Certain abilities may decline with age, but judgment, emotional intelligence, and wisdom tend to grow. Those who struggle most are often those who cling to earlier definitions of success. Those who adapt, shifting from striving to serving, from accumulating to giving, often discover a deeper and more stable form of happiness.

What makes Brooks’ argument compelling is its practicality. If happiness is a skill, it can be practised daily. Investing in relationships, limiting destructive comparison, cultivating gratitude, and finding ways to be useful to others are not personality traits. They are habits.

Like any skill, they demand patience. There will be days when happiness feels distant, just as progress feels slow in any meaningful pursuit. Over time, though, these habits reshape how people experience their lives.

In a world saturated with pressure and comparison, Brooks offers a grounded truth. Happiness does not require perfect circumstances or a different personality. It requires intention. That may be one of the most empowering ideas available in a time when many feel they have little control at all.

PUBLISHED ON Dec 20,2025 [ VOL 26 , NO 1338]