Listening's Quiet Power in a World of Noise Could Mend Broken Bonds

Listening's Quiet Power in a World of Noise Could Mend Broken Bonds

Dec 29 , 2024. By Guaiqiong Li (PhD) ( An assistant research fellow at Yunnan University in Kunming with research interests in China-Africa relations and political party diplomacy. Rainer Ebert (PhD) in philosophy from Rice University in Texas is a research fellow at the University of South Africa. ) , Rainer Ebert (PhD) ( Philosophy from Rice University in Texas is a research fellow at the University of South Africa.   )

Few would argue against the importance of listening. As Voltaire once wrote, “L’oreille est le chemin du coeur”—the ear is the way to the heart. Yet, we often respond passively, offering superficial acknowledgment instead of truly listening. We would rather have others listen to us, and the rise of social media has made it easier to demand only that. As a result, the world has become noisier.

Thoughts are expressed more readily, and shared more widely, yet people feel lonelier, and less connected. Whether it is the anxiety and uneasiness in one’s heart, the misunderstandings and estrangements among family and friends, or political conflicts, a lack of listening cannot escape sharing in the blame.

How long has it been since we stopped our busy steps and calmly talked with ourselves, listening to the true thoughts deep in our hearts?

In this bustling world, we are always in a hurry, busy catering to a multitude of external norms and expectations, yet often forget to pause and listen to the voice within. Every day, we speak countless words, in meetings, messages, and emails.

But, how many of these words express our authentic selves?

Very often, we either say things we do not indeed mean or, considering our environment, “rationally” divide our inner thoughts into what “should be said” and what “shouldn’t be said.” This makes it inevitable that our desires and preferences are regularly restrained and suppressed. On the one hand, we have to become like everyone else; on the other, we are somewhat reluctant to do so. As a result, we are afflicted with anxiety, nervousness, and hesitation.

The heart is like a treasure house, hiding our most genuine desires, fears, dreams, and passions. Perhaps, if we take a moment and listen, we can hear the soft whisper of the voice that has been covered up by our busy lives, yearning to pursue the projects we abandoned due to life’s demands, and burning to show our true selves without fear.

To be kind to ourselves starts with listening to ourselves. No longer blindly following the pace of others. Setting aside time for ourselves to be alone, feel the rhythm of our hearts, and let it guide our choices; resisting the urge to deny or escape when our hearts feel anxious or uneasy, but gently soothing them, exploring the roots behind those emotions and respecting our own feelings. Whether choosing a career we love or ending a relationship that drains our energy, the comfort and peace of our hearts deserve their due priority.

Everything is constantly changing. Heraclitus said we cannot step into the same river twice,  and even if the river remained unchanged, the person stepping into it would not. Relatives and friends once close to us will inevitably develop ideas that collide with ours, partly due to differences in our lived experiences as time passes. It is not uncommon that people become estranged from their parents and relatives, or part ways with friends because of differences in opinions, which fills what should have been beautiful stories with regrets.

Often enough, the root cause is a failure to listen. Listening to those we care about is vital for maintaining strong emotional bonds.

When loved ones share their experiences, attentive listening is the most precious gift we can give them. Listening to our parents talk about the past, we can find wisdom and hope in their stories. Our genuine attention makes them feel respected and cared for, and the family bond becomes stronger. When friends confide their concerns to us, whether about troubles in relationships or problems at work, silent listening may calm their hearts better than any words of comfort.

By listening, we offer them emotional support, letting them know they are not alone.

The United States (US) witnessed an astonishingly absurd election season, marked by an alarming level of political polarisation. Democrats and Republicans are deeply entrenched in their respective positions, leaving little room for compromise. In Congress, legislative deadlocks are commonplace, as lawmakers from both parties prioritise partisan interests over the common good. This is especially evident in issues such as healthcare, immigration, and climate change.

At the societal level, the public is also divided along political lines. People with different political views increasingly find it difficult to engage in rational discussions.

Political polarisation is not a uniquely American disease. It is a global one that has afflicted societies and strained democracies from Brazil to Germany, and Tanzania to Bangladesh. It often feeds on the words and actions of divisive leaders and infects the whole body of society, all the way down to everyday interactions and relationships. Once entrenched, polarisation tends to perpetuate itself, and there are no easy remedies. What is an effective remedy depends on local context, with legal reforms being called for in some places, and changes in political leadership in others. Although the problem is complex, listening is certain to be an essential part of its solution.

Politicians, policymakers, and the public need to actively listen to the concerns and perspectives of those with opposing views. When politicians listen to each other, rather than simply dismissing the ideas of their political rivals, they can better understand the underlying reasons for different policy positions and strive to find common ground. Encouraging the public to listen to diverse viewpoints can help break down barriers, and promote a more informed electorate that is able to make decisions based on a comprehensive understanding of the issues, rather than being swayed by partisan rhetoric.

By promoting a culture of listening at all levels of society, including the government, media, educational institutions, and the citizenry, we can hope to bridge political divides and move towards a more united and harmonious future.

As we bid farewell to the old and usher in the new, opening the door to a hopeful 2025, let us commit to listening – to ourselves and others.

PUBLISHED ON Dec 29,2024 [ VOL 25 , NO 1287]

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