Slandering: A Sign of Deeply Rooted Issues

Jul 22 , 2023
By Eden Sahle

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A year ago, I moved with my husband Mike to a welcoming neighbourhood near the Figa area. We were newlyweds but it was not difficult to get adjusted.

The longtime residents approached and invited us to join in on community activities. They added us to the social media channel, where important events such as sickness, births, deaths and social gatherings were announced.

The community also has a dedicated administrator who ensures the neighbourhood is secure and connected.

Last week, one family from the group welcomed a baby. We knew the husband and their children as they often come to our rather short gate and played with our dogs. But our interaction with the mother did not pass greetings from afar.

I went with my husband to congratulate the family. It was just the mother with her newborn. She brought the precious and calm baby for me to hold as we got to know each other discussing on random issues.

The conversation took an unexpected turn when the mother unrestrictedly began sharing her life story.

She told us details about their wealth, investments, and marital issues. It escalated to revealing intimate matters that should have been kept private which left me and my husband speechless and unable to stop her eyebrow-raising statements.

Meanwhile, I took offence to her unfounded generalised opinion about husbands being the same. Her bold assumption and suggestion of what I should expect, in my husband's presence, was disregarding and disrespectful. I found my voice and politely interrupt her lone chatter stating that my husband is far from her presumptions.

She commented that I was among the few lucky wives, indicating that her husband's poor investment decisions and business failures were where her negative energy was originating. Regardless, it was confusing why we were being told all that.

After what felt like an eternity of suffocation, we got the courage to end the visit and leave. The anticipated happy time had turned out to be traumatising and puzzling.

As we were going down the stairs, we bumped into the husband. In contrast to his wife, he spoke highly of his family and had only positive things to say about her. He was exhilarated to be a dad again and welcomed us warmly, expressing gratitude for our visit.

It was a refreshing conversation that helped us clear our minds after the bewildering conversation we had.

On our way home, we recalled that certain members of the community had cautioned us about the unsettling conduct of the wife we had visited. Despite her husband's amiability and eagerness to socialise, the community avoids interacting with the family. But just like us, no one dared to confront her for fear of the repercussions it may have.

Betrayal by badmouthing a family member to a new acquaintance speaks volumes about one's own personality. Unfortunately, it is a common encounter for individuals who take advantage of any chance to demean those around them, including their own family members.

This behavioural crisis does not stop by breaking families apart. It breaks social ties and interactions as there is no way to know who the next target would be.

Families need to stick together and provide support and protection for each other. In times of conflict, it is not productive to confide in strangers, but rather to approach the accused, trusted friends, or spiritual leaders who can help mend the suffering relationship.

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PUBLISHED ON Jul 22,2023 [ VOL 24 , NO 1212]

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