Resilience in Tragedy Tried, Tested

Feb 18 , 2023
By Eden Sahle

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A few months back, my husband and I discovered an acquaintance who had been out of touch for several years suddenly lost her husband, the father of her child. On the same day of his demise, we rushed to their residence to offer her comfort and condolence. There was a large white tent pitched at the gate with several chairs. Surprisingly there was only an elderly man seated. As we were about to sit next to him, he directed us to go inside.

Stepping into the compound, we found the young grieving widow, whose life promptly turned upside down, sitting alone. on the day of her husband's passing, they were scheduled to set off for Europe. Unlike the common practice in the country, there was nobody to console her during such a painful period. She ran to us the moment our eyes met, just held on as we wept together for we were dumbfounded.

Eventually, she narrated the tragedy and how she managed to deal with the immediate aftermath all by herself while caring for her child. Her bravery was admirable. We stayed with her until midnight before her insisting on bidding us farewell to rest, which left us in dilemma.

We attended the funeral early the next day, yet again to witness something bizarre. It was obvious at the same time confusing that the family and the widow are not on good terms, since they openly showed their disregard. As people came to pay their respect, she was made an outcast. She was uninformed of her husband's body arriving at the cemetery with his family. Alone she was, waiting outside the church gate sobbing. We led her to the place where the service of prayers had been conducted before the committal service for her late husband.

An elderly man loudly interrupted the funeral ceremony which forced the priest to halt the service until he was done with the long speech begging the family to make peace after the mishap. When it was time to read the life and achievements of the deceased, his wife was omitted. She was denied the chance to sit with his mother and siblings while people paid their respect after the funeral. Instead, she stood with us the entire time without complaining.

Everyone will depart from this world eventually. Although this fact should have made us all love and care for one another, the reality is otherwise.

I have witnessed people hurt each other even after experiencing loss. His life and passing did not teach his family how important acts of compassion were for the living. They did not care for his wife, someone precious to him during his lifetime. Even in times of despondency, they still held on to the long string of grudges that led to the discord in the first place.

Regardless of whatever caused enmity, the death of their loved one was supposed to restore harmony and union- a sign to let the past rest which could have been a better decision. But their unwillingness to be compassionate at all was so evident.

The widow portrayed an inherent sacrifice we are all expected to do in life. Her actions revealed we do not choose people who can make us happy in a family but find a sense of peace even amidst hostility.

Her experience shows how much a person can navigate through hardships gracefully. She was summoning up the strength to persevere and hope for the best, convinced that all the pains, obstacles and struggles would lead her to be mettle.

How she exquisitely handles the hard-to-witness struggles teaches resilience and control. Instead of being frustrated, she is trying to be a good role model to her child and anyone paying attention.

Sometimes it takes an overwhelming heartbreak to get a visible breakthrough. One thing I noticed that separates her from her in-laws is that she is careful with her actions and selective about what she says. She wanted to convert her pain into forgiveness and care for others. Every word that comes from her mouth sparks deep thoughts that any lister can take a lot out of. While she could have reciprocated the bad gesture, she chose the high road teaching wisdom to the family who only seemed to mature in age.

Her resilience allowed her to turn pain into growth and effective parenthood. She has a rock-solid reason to be an overcomer as she is a single parent. She turned her brokenness and hopelessness into growth and healing. By not letting others pull her into the distraction, she proved silence during the right circumstances speaks louder than words.

Living with others is messy and it gets unpleasant when grief is involved. But people with wisdom remain calm even when the storm sweeps away everything they valued, eventually coming out victorious on the other side.

Eden Sahle is the founder and CEO of Yoda Technology Plc. She has studied law with a focus on international economic law. She can be reached at (edensah2000@gmail.com)

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PUBLISHED ON Feb 18,2023 [ VOL 23 , NO 1190]

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