Raising Children Takes a Village

Jan 4 , 2025
By Kidist Yidnekachew

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Parenting is a journey, filled with unexpected challenges and moments of reckoning. Recently, I found myself confronting a dilemma that tested my patience and principles on how to address the troubling behavior of a neighborhood child who regularly plays with my kids.

This four-year-old girl, though endearing in many ways, has a penchant for physical aggression and surprisingly harsh verbal outbursts. At first, I approached the situation with lighthearted corrections, hoping to set an example through kindness and gentle guidance. But, my efforts yielded little change. On several occasions, she not only kicked me but also hurled insults that were startlingly cutting for someone her age.

Each incident chipped away at my composure.

The breaking point came after a particularly volatile episode where she directed her aggression at both me and my daughter. Determined to set boundaries, I held her hands and calmly explained why her behavior was unacceptable, hoping to make her understand the impact of her actions. Matters escalated when, just as she entered her home, she kicked my daughter again. The brazen act that left me momentarily stunned.

It was not an action I am proud of. But frustration took over, and in a split-second reaction, I lightly smacked her on the behind. The fallout was swift. Her mother, understandably upset, confronted me. As a parent, I sympathise with her protective instincts.

Sharing this experience is not about assigning blame but about sparking a conversation. How do we navigate these modern challenges? Where do we draw the line between tolerance and accountability? Discipline, after all, is not about stifling a child’s spirit but guiding them toward respect and self-awareness. It is a collective effort, one that demands open communication and a willingness to act in the best interests of the community.

I, too, strive to shield my children from harm and teach them respect. But, this incident brought to light a deeper issue: the shifting dynamics of communal responsibility in raising children.

In a twist of irony, the incident did not spare the mother. Moments later, the little girl turned her fury on her, kicking and insulting her in a way that mirrored her earlier behavior. Her mother’s patience snapped, leading to a heated scene where she retaliated in kind. It was a raw, unfiltered moment that underscored the complexities of parenting and the consequences of unchecked behavior.

This incident made me reflect on how societal attitudes toward discipline have changed. There was a time when communities collectively guided children, where neighbors and teachers played active roles in correcting misbehavior. Today, that shared responsibility has waned, replaced by an unspoken rule to stay out of others’ parenting. The result is a growing burden on individuals to manage behaviors that ripple beyond the family unit.

The incident with my neighbor’s daughter is a stark reminder that raising children is not a solitary endeavor. It is a shared responsibility, one that calls for a balance between understanding and action. Only by working together can we create an environment where children learn to thrive—not at the expense of others, but alongside them.

The issues we face as parents today reflect broader societal shifts. Technology, urbanisation, and evolving cultural norms have redefined how children are raised. With fewer opportunities for community engagement and more isolated family units, the task of instilling discipline feels overwhelming. This is compounded by a growing hesitation to confront bad behavior, fearing judgment or conflict.

What is needed is a return to collective accountability, where communities support one another in nurturing the next generation. This does not mean overstepping boundaries but fostering an environment where parents and neighbors collaborate, share wisdom, and reinforce values that benefit everyone. It is about creating a village not just in name, but in action.

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PUBLISHED ON Jan 04,2025 [ VOL 25 , NO 1288]

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