Sunday with Eden | Oct 30,2021
May 1 , 2020
By Kidist Yidnekachew
One of Boonaa Mohammed’s spoken-word pieces of poetry is titled, "Beautiful." The Canadian of Ethiopian descent took up the subject of women and appearances with this poem, discussing how we torture ourselves to appear beautiful.
Most of the time, in dressing the way we do, we only succeed in attracting the wrong sort of attention. This is not to say that women do not have the right to wear whatever they desire and should be judged for wearing revealing clothes. Some women like to flaunt and show off what they have, and to some extent, that is alright.
Recently, I got into an argument with a friend while watching TV. One of the news stories was about how India has the highest rate of sexual violence in the world. The friend, who is male, said that sometimes it is the woman's fault.
"Some women are begging for it with the way they dress," he said.
He was, in fact, taking a line from Dave Chappelle, a famous comedian that thrives on shocking people with the statements he makes. His style of comedy is not for everyone, and some of his comments about women have been problematic.
"If you are in a police uniform, I would assume you are a police officer, so if I come running to you asking for help, you wouldn't say, 'Just because I am in a police uniform, it doesn't mean I am a police officer,'" he said in one of his stand-up routines.
He was implying that women who are dressed a certain way are “asking for it” and are, to some extent, responsible for the men who objectify them sexually.
Indeed, the more revealing a woman's clothing is, the more attention she is seeking. But then again, the desire to be noticed and be called beautiful is not necessarily “asking for it.” Sometimes we just like the outfit. This does not in any way give men permission to make a move or to assault women. It is only human to want to be complimented and be called beautiful. This is not something we should be punished for.
Let us also not forget that it is not only women who are assaulted even when they are dressed modestly. Harassment has much more to do with what is going on in the man’s mind than what a woman is wearing.
Something along these lines occurred to a friend of mine a few months ago. She went to a lounge with her sister and her sister's boyfriend on Valentine's Day. They were sitting there enjoying themselves when, out of the blue, the guys at the next table insisted on joining them. They politely refused.
One of the guys asked, "Why are you here, if you don't want to mingle?"
Matters escalated from there on and the night ended with one of the guy's physically assaulting my friend's sister, who had her teeth knocked out. He later had the audacity to refuse to pay for her dental expenses, and insisted that an apology sufficed to make up for what he had done.
This is all indeed frustrating. But I am not at all naïve about the impact the culture and entertainment industries have had on us women either. Men are entirely culpable for assaulting women regardless of the way we look, but the lengths we go to and the sacrifices we make to look like movie stars and models is problematic as well.
If we were all content with the way we look, the cosmetic industry would have long ago run out of business. Some of us could have bought a car with the money we spend on clothes, hair and makeup if we were more carefree.
I am one of those women who needs to look good to feel good. Most of us women spend more time and energy on our looks than men. There are indeed women that pursue knowledge over looks, but most of us take the societal expectation to be well kept, clean and presentable a little too seriously. It puts pressure on us to act in a certain manner.
There is irony in all of this. On the one hand, the culture and certain industries push us to look a specific way. On the other hand, there is the backward notion that women should be held responsible for the sexual harassment and assaults they experience because of the way they have chosen to dress, which is usually an extension of the way cultures and industries want us to look.
Women are made to come out as losers on both ends.
PUBLISHED ON
May 01,2020 [ VOL
21 , NO
1044]
Sunday with Eden | Oct 30,2021
Radar | Mar 23,2019
Fortune News | Dec 19,2018
Sunday with Eden | May 27,2023
Viewpoints | Jan 04,2020
Radar | Jan 19,2019
Fortune News | Jul 25,2020
Fortune News | Aug 16,2020
Viewpoints | Dec 02,2023
Radar | Jun 12,2021
Photo Gallery | 96507 Views | May 06,2019
Photo Gallery | 88788 Views | Apr 26,2019
My Opinion | 67120 Views | Aug 14,2021
Commentaries | 65747 Views | Oct 02,2021
Feb 24 , 2024 . By MUNIR SHEMSU
Abel Yeshitila, a real estate developer with a 12-year track record, finds himself unable to sell homes in his latest venture. Despite slash...
Feb 10 , 2024 . By MUNIR SHEMSU
In his last week's address to Parliament, Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed (PhD) painted a picture of an economy...
Jan 7 , 2024
In the realm of international finance and diplomacy, few cities hold the distinction that Addis Abeba doe...
Sep 30 , 2023 . By AKSAH ITALO
On a chilly morning outside Ke'Geberew Market, Yeshi Chane, a 35-year-old mother cradling her seven-month-old baby, stands amidst the throng...
Apr 20 , 2024
In a departure from its traditionally opaque practices, the National Bank of Ethiopia...
Apr 13 , 2024
In the hushed corridors of the legislative house on Lorenzo Te'azaz Road (Arat Kilo)...
Apr 6 , 2024
In a rather unsettling turn of events, the state-owned Commercial Bank of Ethiopia (C...
Mar 30 , 2024
Ethiopian authorities find themselves at a crossroads in the shadow of a global econo...
Apr 20 , 2024
Ethiopia's economic reform negotiations with the International Monetary Fund (IMF) are in their fourth round, taking place in Washington, D...
Apr 20 , 2024 . By BERSABEH GEBRE
An undercurrent of controversy surrounds the appointment of founding members of Amhara Bank after regulat...
An ambitious cooperative housing initiative designed to provide thousands with affordable homes is mired...
Apr 20 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Ethiopia's juice manufacturers confront formidable economic challenges following the reclassification of...