My Opinion | Feb 23,2019
February 19 , 2022
By Eden Sahle ( Eden Sahle is founder and CEO of Yada Technology Plc. She has studied law with a focus on international economic law. She can be reached at edensah2000@gmail.com. )
We do not know how to be strong until we are tested. The Sunday morning that my father passed away was and will always be the worst day of my life. It was the beginning of a different me.
With grief comes forth the birth of our new selves on how we live and see things. I never anticipated the first person I would witness die was my father. I never imagined death is not as dramatic as it is generally depicted in the movies. He passed away suddenly and peacefully as if he was going to sleep; I alone with him at the time.
All of a sudden, the issues that used to keep me sleepless at night were not a bother. The things that used to offend me no longer bring me anger. The problems that used to worry me do not create stress anymore. After all, we would not understand the value of life and the opportunities we have until we understand we are all going to die, and we are all going to be bereaved at some point in life. It gave me a new meaning and perspective in life.
Death is inevitable, but what is important is how we deal with it and our choices in our limited time here on earth. I have been thinking a lot about my father’s life, achievements, dreams, wishes and advice. In all my life, when I felt disheartened, my father helped me get back up and get going no matter what. Now that he is gone, I know I must face my reality in his absence.
Family, relatives, and friends who saw my physical, psychological, and emotional deterioration told me I am making his years of hard work on me futile. But what they failed to see is that there is no healing without being destroyed first and experiencing the full extent of relentless grief.
Enough psychology books tell us that healing from grief comes after experiencing pain and hurt while navigating the natural process of getting better. No matter how hard we try, healing cannot be forced. We have to find a way to adjust to the unwanted reality and get well one day at a time. Avoiding the pain is what does harm, not experiencing it. Grief is a process that has to be worked through to achieve eventual healing.
Unwanted change, especially that comes in death, is tough to deal with and we need someone we can trust to support us as we try to heal. For me, this was my fiancé. Unlike others close to me, he understood grief is personal and he graciously let me experience it without judging. He knew there was no way for him to fix my pain and tragedy for me or change the way I was feeling. He just listened. He knew I could only do this by myself while he was there encouraging me daily in my small steps of recovery.
In that process, I realised that we do not lose our loved ones, even if they pass away. They are present except not physically. They are a part of our present and future as they were of the past. We incorporate them into our entire existence. My father’s unwavering love and care, kindness, counsel, mentorship and friendship will always be with me and everyone else close to him. They are treasures I hold on to tightly and pass on to my children. In my post-traumatic moment of growth, I am learning to build my life around my father’s death and the sweet memories I was fortunate enough to have with him.
There is an end to all things. Change is the only certainty we have in life. We have no control over many aspects of life - people who did not resist change and considered it an integral part of their time on earth thrived. In any change, whether caused by ours or from things out of our control, if we handle it right, it will be the basis of our fortitude and foundation of our new identity.
PUBLISHED ON
Feb 19,2022 [ VOL
22 , NO
1138]
My Opinion | Feb 23,2019
Commentaries | Mar 21,2020
Radar | Mar 09,2019
Editorial | Jan 25,2020
Life Matters | Jan 15,2022
My Opinion | Jul 06,2019
Fortune News | Jun 11,2022
Agenda | Jun 12,2021
Sunday with Eden | Nov 30,2019
Sunday with Eden | Dec 04,2020
Photo Gallery | 53206 Views | May 06,2019
Fortune News | 46043 Views | Jul 18,2020
Photo Gallery | 44964 Views | Apr 26,2019
Fortune News | 44804 Views | Sep 01,2021
July 2 , 2022 . By RUTH TAYE
On a rainy afternoon last week, a coffee processing facility in the capital's Akaki-Qality District was abuzz with activ...
November 27 , 2021
Against my will, I have witnessed the most terrible defeat of reason and the most sa...
November 13 , 2021
Plans and reality do not always gel. They rarely do in a fast-moving world. Every act...
October 16 , 2021 . By HAWI DADHI
Residing in a country with no capital market, an organised marketplace for trading se...
July 2 , 2022
After nearly two years since the civil war broke out in northern Ethiopia, adversarie...
June 25 , 2022
It is not the best of times to be in charge of governance in Ethiopia, whether at the...
June 18 , 2022
Some of Ethiopia's economic policymakers may take solace from realising that inflatio...
June 11 , 2022
The stereotype many people have of parliamentarians is as clueless seat fillers who exist to rubber stamp legislative bi...
In an economy that has slowed, where consumers are hammered by inflation, and the private sector is teetering on edge, one industry has a br...
July 2 , 2022 . By TSION HAILEMICHAEL
Getu Gelete has struck a deal to acquire a 40pc stake in Habesha Cement S.C., buying out Pretoria Portlan...
July 2 , 2022 . By BERSABEH GEBRE
Lake Ayalew, minister of Revenues, moved to address complaints about inflationary distortions on capital...
July 2 , 2022 . By BERSABEH GEBRE
The federal government is set to roll out a single-account treasury system for the coming budget year, co...
Loading your updates...
Put your comments here