Life Matters | Mar 25,2023
May 25 , 2024
By Eden Sahle
There are role models we should emulate to cultivate peace.
I always thought I valued peace, until I met my husband. He approaches it with an unwavering commitment and a calming grace. He showed me that inner peace is far more valuable than winning an argument, even with strangers. Time and again, I've witnessed him graciously concede to avoid conflict.
Many have not grasped the truth: living peacefully with others is a mark of maturity and strength. Conflict seems omnipresent – in families, politics, and even among strangers. It is as if people have become accustomed to fighting, sacrificing their peace of mind in the process. Given the deep divisions and disrespect we see daily, it is no wonder conflict is so common. The belief that humans are inherently territorial and combative is a pervasive one.
The misguided notion that aggression gets results fuels the urge to confront strangers. Daily commutes become battlegrounds as drivers rage during rush hour. Impatient pedestrians shove their way through lines, venting frustration on innocent bystanders. Bullying seems rampant, with women often targeted – seen as less likely to fight back. Couples bicker in public and private. Friends and siblings clash over everything, damaging relationships. Some couples even break up, prioritising self-expression over maintaining peace. Politicians act like they are on opposing sides in a war, a world away from civil discourse.
While some feel entitled to disrespect others, there are also those who serve as beacons of peace. My husband, Mike, is one such person. He has shown me the power of choosing peace. I have never seen him raise his voice or speak harshly to anyone. He allows people to say their piece, then removes himself calmly. He treats everyone this way – family, friends, and strangers alike, and is known for his kindness.
His maturity allows him to apologise even when he is not at fault, seeking to de-escalate situations. He often ends arguments by empathising, even with those who wronged him, earning him respect in the process. Initially, this approach baffled me. I would get angry when people took advantage of him. But I slowly understood – it was the price he paid for inner peace.
Mike is intentional in his interactions. He approaches everyday encounters with care, kindness, and respect. Peace is not something he takes for granted; he actively cultivates and protects it. We have lost money to those who took advantage, but he forgave them to maintain peace.
I believe people such as my husband possess maturity, self-control, and humility. They readily admit mistakes and apologise openly. When attacked, they do not escalate the situation. This helps them to never resort to physical or verbal aggression. Their consistent character is admired by others.
Techniques like meditation or deep breathing can help us become more aware of our emotions and choose our responses rather than reacting impulsively. Meanwhile, it is helpful to try and see things from the other person's perspective. Avoiding accusatory language and listening to the other person helps to find common ground. Holding onto anger and resentment only hurts the person. Forgiveness does not mean condoning someone's actions, but it allows us to release negativity and move forward in peace.
For some, it might seem easier to be peaceful in a vacuum, but true maturity lies in interacting gracefully with family, friends, and strangers, all while protecting mental well-being. Maintaining peace requires cooperation, sharing, and kindness. It thrives on positive reciprocity, even when we are hurt. After all, as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. If we refuse to engage, the conflict fizzles out on its own.
PUBLISHED ON
May 25,2024 [ VOL
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1256]
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