May 29 , 2021
By Kidist Yidnekachew
Sometimes, we find ourselves in a position where we want to visit one of our friends or relatives but do not want to go empty-handed. We think of the things we could buy.
Fruits? Like a kilo of banana or oranges? Cookies from a bakery or a cake from a pastry shop?
Some people may go to the distance of postponing their visit to folks because they find it too mortifying to go without bearing gifts. Count me in as one of these people. I do not like dropping by a friend’s house empty-handed. Even taking something as little as a kilo of bananas does not suffice for me. It has to be at least two kilos. I also insist on not giving the same type of gift twice.
This is probably a behaviour I got from my family. Paying someone a visit without gifts is considered inconsiderate, but this does not mean that we expect the same courtesy from visitors. Whenever someone brings something to our house, the host says, “why did you bother?”
Many hosts expect guests to show up bearing gifts, especially for holidays, graduations and birthdays. They might not say it out loud, but they wonder why a guest has broken the unspoken rule whenever someone shows up empty-handed.
I also wondered aloud when a guest came to visit my friend’s father, who at the time was sick, empty-handed. Not only did they come weeks late to see him even though they lived next door, but they also did not bring anything. Their excuse for not coming was that they had the flu, but when they finally got the chance to visit, they only brought excuses with them.
My friend tried to conceal her disappointment, but it was clear that she was not pleased.
“I understand why they didn’t come, but when they finally decide to show up, they brought nothing,” she told me after they left, exasperated. “When their mother was sick, I went there to visit her several times and each time, I brought something with me.”
She has a point. A gift is a language of affection. What makes them special is not how expensive they are but the time and attention given to them, especially as one has to know a person well to know what they like. Indeed, this very same social phenomenon may also cause some to reject the gifts.
We may come across hosts that consider it rude to accept the gifts guests bring. I know a family who gets annoyed every time I bring them something when I go to visit.
“Why do you always come carrying gifts?” they say to me. “You’re like family; next time, don’t bring anything. And if you do anyway, we won't let you in the house.”
Sometimes, the culture of gift-giving is taken to the next stage. For instance, growing up, whenever someone brought us food either on a plate or in a lunchbox, we would not return the plate or box bare after we were finished. This was taboo. Instead, we would put some food in it as a way of gratitude.
Of course, this host-guest relationship is not just a custom in Ethiopia. From the West to the East, people have to abide by gift-giving laws that govern this relationship, though the era of excess consumerism has eaten away at its value. It is a norm, a way of life that spontaneously arose and now governs how we treat one another. As long as we do not go overboard and empty our pockets in the process, it is a good culture to keep.
PUBLISHED ON
May 29,2021 [ VOL
22 , NO
1100]
Letter To Editor | Apr 18,2023
Viewpoints | Apr 20,2019
Obituary | Dec 19,2020
Viewpoints | Mar 19,2022
Fortune News | May 11,2025
Commentaries | Nov 26,2022
Sunday with Eden | Jul 05,2025
Editorial | May 23,2026
Fortune News | Jun 23,2019
Agenda | Dec 02,2023
Photo Gallery | 190480 Views | May 06,2019
Photo Gallery | 180217 Views | Apr 26,2019
Photo Gallery | 176885 Views | Oct 06,2021
My Opinion | 142603 Views | Aug 14,2021
Dec 22 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Charged with transforming colossal state-owned enterprises into modern and competitiv...
Aug 18 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Although predictable Yonas Zerihun's job in the ride-hailing service is not immune to...
Jul 28 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Unhabitual, perhaps too many, Samuel Gebreyohannes, 38, used to occasionally enjoy a couple of beers at breakfast. However, he recently swit...
Jul 13 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Investors who rely on tractors, trucks, and field vehicles for commuting, transporting commodities, and f...
Jun 27 , 2026
The federal legislative house rushed through one of the country's most contentious ho...
When Parliament takes up the appropriation bill, federal legislators will receive a d...
Jun 13 , 2026
The recent policy decision to fully open freight forwarding to foreign capital may be...
Jun 6 , 2026
For a political veteran as controversial as Getachew Reda, last week's national elect...
Jun 27 , 2026 . By BEZAWIT HULUAGER
A year after federal transport authorities restricted fossil-fuelled vehicles to clea...
Jun 27 , 2026 . By BEZAWIT HULUAGER
Ethiopia is selling more to the rest of Africa than ever before. The trouble is that...
Jun 27 , 2026 . By NAHOM AYELE
For thousands of Addis Abeba homeowners, a house they paid for years ago may still no...
Jun 27 , 2026 . By NAHOM AYELE
Shareholders and senior managers of Key Housing Finance Solutions Plc are turning on...
Loading your updates...