The Obstinacy of Misogyny

The Obstinacy of Misogyny

Mar 26 , 2022. By Carolyn Kissane ( Founding director of the Energy, Climate & Sustainability Lab at NYU. )

As long as society continues to exist, the existence of women will not go unnoticed or unbothered, it seems. I often hear something unkind being said about women or experience it vicariously through those I know. It makes one think, “it is indeed a man’s world.” No doubt, times have changed and some men happen to respect women’s rights and support gender equality. But I still come across misogynists who sound like they have been living under a rock.

The other day on social media, a friend was talking about women’s rights and the feminist movement. In any typical social media setting, there is a troll. That one person who often tries to defy points of view no matter how reasonable or good the opinion being stated is, at least from the majority’s perspective.

“Women are indeed inferior to men. They have always been and remain to be,” said this particular troll. “When growing up, my mother often cooked two types of food; one for the family and a special one for my father. That showed the value and respect my father was given in the household.”

He assumes that his parents had a successful marriage because the husband was treated as an overlord while the wife served to fulfil the whims of the designated head of the household. There is no problem with fathers and husbands being respected.

But who said respect is exclusive to men?

Respect should be extended to all of humankind, which some seem to forget includes women. The man saying this was in his early forties, yet he thinks women should be denied the same privilege men get.

My friend, who happens to be a man who believes women should be respected and recognised, told him, “you feel that way because you grew up in that kind of household. Can you even imagine what it feels like to be a woman? Not to walk a mile without being bothered by a man or having to be treated differently only because she is a woman. You can only truly understand these things when you start putting yourself in their shoes. You will know what I am talking about one day when you have a daughter. I can’t even imagine a man saying something offensive to my daughter so I try not to say anything that diminishes a woman's worth.”

The troll was not convinced, but he was forced to leave the chat as everyone was questioning how a man in this era thinks that way.

Men who love their mothers and sisters tend to treat other women with respect and care too. But all men came from a mother and yet some do not treat women with respect, sometimes including their own mothers.

Can we ever change the hearts and minds of such men? Is it possible?

Equally surprising are women who tend to think that a man has to be somehow abusive and dominant to prove his manliness. They insist that a husband should now and then slap his wife to show her who is in charge. Other similar beliefs some women hold that jis giving men the permission to look down on them. If women do not respect themselves, then we cannot expect men to fight for us either? It is the women themselves that jar me.

The same thing goes for women who say they do not like it when a man does the house chores such as baking (making) injerabecause those who engage in domestic work appear weaker than their fellow men.

No one likes chores, but it is done out of respect for people's wellbeing in our lives. Male or female, anyone that refuses to follow gendered approaches should be celebrated, not insulted.

PUBLISHED ON Mar 26,2022 [ VOL 22 , NO 1143]

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