Commentaries | Nov 09,2019
Dec 10 , 2022
By Kidist Yidnekachew
I met a young girl at a funeral, and the unfortunate event was a perfect setting to talk about our lives.
She told me about her goals, which are noble and beautiful. Sparing the details, she talked about her wish to influence people around her. Minutes passed, and her mood suddenly changed before she went silent. I asked her what was bothering her, seeing that her expression had also changed. She frowned, worried the people in her neighbourhood would treat her differently based on her decision.
I once saw this video that talks about the stages of life. What matters the most is self-assessment and not what others think. Everyone gets forgotten after some time, although leaving a legacy and accomplishing something positive that passes generations are possible.
I am referring to the passion people did not pursue because they did not get approval from their parents at a young age or thought it would be unpopular amongst friends.
The girl's dreams neither harmed nor were against society, but the change meant not making other people happy. She was unsure if she should pursue it.
I asked her how her decision would affect her life a year from now. She replied that it would have a tremendous positive impact and make her a better individual. Then I continued if the people around her were still bothered by it after a year. She said they might not, but some might not let go of it. I advised her to put the impact on one side and their opinions on the other and weigh to see which the scale would lean towards. She picked the one I expected—the incredible impact.
She nodded as I explained that her neighbours would probably forget about the decision in a month, and she would start living her dreams. I am unsure if she would take my advice and pursue her dreams, but she seemed convinced.
Our encounter left me thinking about the value we give to others' opinions more than ours.
I recently realised, probably for the millionth time, how life is short. What is more tragic than the time span is how we spend most of it, with some dedicating their lives to the pleasure of others. Living for others is the best thing that could happen, but it is not the same as living for everyone.
Sometimes, people put aside their needs and strive to fulfil others' interests resulting in a sacrifice. It translates into becoming a people pleaser whose mere existence revolves around pleasing others. A people pleaser lives to get approval and positive feedback from others without even thinking about it.
Situations might force us to change behaviour and fit into a particular social norm. A specific act could be unacceptable or shameful, depending on the environment. But nothing is worse than becoming a people pleaser trying to impress others at the cost of self-actualisation.
In many cases, worrying about other people's reactions and thinking about what they would say keeps us from living the life we want. But it should not matter, provided that we feel strongly about ourselves. It would not keep people from forming an opinion about us anyway.
I often wonder if people lived the life they wanted and died. It pains me to learn that others' opinions might have prevented them from pursuing a dream. It is not easy to stop caring about what others think, but self-prioritisation and inner communication should be a priority.
Let us ask ourselves now and then if others' opinions are worth self-redemption and growth.
PUBLISHED ON
Dec 10,2022 [ VOL
23 , NO
1180]
Commentaries | Nov 09,2019
Radar | Nov 04,2023
Commentaries | Dec 04,2022
Commentaries | Sep 06,2025
Viewpoints | Oct 02,2021
View From Arada | May 30,2026
Commentaries | Apr 24,2021
View From Arada | Apr 06,2024
Agenda | Mar 21,2020
Life Matters | Jan 24,2026
Photo Gallery | 193627 Views | May 06,2019
Photo Gallery | 183525 Views | Apr 26,2019
Photo Gallery | 180350 Views | Oct 06,2021
My Opinion | 145776 Views | Aug 14,2021
Dec 22 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Charged with transforming colossal state-owned enterprises into modern and competitiv...
Aug 18 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Although predictable Yonas Zerihun's job in the ride-hailing service is not immune to...
Jul 28 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Unhabitual, perhaps too many, Samuel Gebreyohannes, 38, used to occasionally enjoy a couple of beers at breakfast. However, he recently swit...
Jul 13 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Investors who rely on tractors, trucks, and field vehicles for commuting, transporting commodities, and f...
Aug 22 , 2026
A record is a strange thing to worry about. Federal trade officials have booked the b...
Aug 14 , 2026
Aschalew Fetene, known as “Ardi” and admired for his poetic depth, has built a ti...
Aug 8 , 2026
The World Bank asks readers to picture a mother in rural Ethiopia who has never held...
Jul 31 , 2026
Weldu Yiheysh has not read the Pacific temperature charts. He does not need to. In Shibta District of Enderta Wereda, in...
Aug 22 , 2026 . By BEZAWIT HULUAGER
The forthcoming strategy for interest-free finance will place Sharia-compliant financ...
Aug 22 , 2026 . By NAHOM AYELE
Wegagen Capital Investment Bank (WCIB) has completed its first full year in profit an...
Judges at the Federal High Court, sitting on a limited basis to hear only urgent matt...
Aug 22 , 2026 . By BEZAWIT HULUAGER
Federal authorities are about to find out whether they can make a single payment wind...
Loading your updates...