Fortune News | May 18,2024
Feb 12 , 2022
By Eden Sahle
I have not dated until a little over two years ago. I was raised to focus on education and building a career first. I did exactly that and became comfortable being a single woman. I used to tell my father I would be single for life and be happy about it. Although my father never pressured me, he wished to see me get married and start a family whenever the topic came up.
Over the years, some decent men asked me for marriage, but I felt we would not be a good fit. Those who knew me closely at times joked that a woman who cast off too many suitors would end up with the worst ones later. Indeed, my criteria were strict. I was looking for a kind, spiritual, committed, honest, and family-oriented man.
Finally, I felt like I had found that man. He did not only fulfil what I was looking for in a man but also pleasantly resembled my father's spirit and character. We were engaged. My father could not be happier. Back in September, he threw us a party for the day of Shemgelena (the traditional giving of my hand to marriage). Both our families celebrated. The fact that we both did not have previous relationships greatly benefited us as we did not bring past hurt or subject one another to a contest with past partners.
Life was just good. I thought I had figured out life, including relationships. After all, I have read so many books about romance and family, I convinced myself the tricky part was behind us. There seemed to be only happy times. We planned our lifetime together, including everything in between, such as raising children.
Then my beloved father’s sudden passing came out of nowhere last month. I was unprepared and oblivious to how to deal with the grief. Just like that, plans with my fiancé shuttered. Unfortunately for me, it took the tragic passing of my father to learn that life cannot be planned. A season meant for my wedding celebration turned into a time of grief. Happy times changed into deeply wounding despair. Both our extended families expected to meet one another at our wedding but met at my father’s mourning visitation. Unlike the plan, our families bonded, organising my father’s funeral. Both our families, who were supposed to be happy sharing the joy of our martial unity, now shared our pain and grief.
Life is not as we think we know it. It has ugly twists and turns that break and make us simultaneously. Lack of control is cruel. Planning is pointless, while living in a moment is rewarding. Optimism is ephemeral, but being brave pays off.
In grieving the loss of my father, I learned new things about love and relationship. My fiancée remained anchored to me, comforting me as stubbornly as I needed to be during my difficult time. It was yet a lesson from life that proved there is much that remains unspoken and unwritten in books about love and relationships.
People can show us love and encourage us to hope again. They do as such by listening to us, holding our hands during our difficult times and empathising with our fluctuating emotions no matter how frustrating it could get. There is no more outstanding care for a person than continuing to believe in them, however hopeless and broken they can get. It is believing in them even when they have lost faith in themselves and do not see themselves ever healing emotionally. It is patience without the display of judgment.
The incredibly painful loss of my father and my subsequent grief, in a strange twist of fate, is also the evidence that people closest to me will be by my side through thick and thin. It is a realisation no personal advice or book has brought to my attention.
PUBLISHED ON
Feb 12,2022 [ VOL
22 , NO
1137]
Fortune News | May 18,2024
Fortune News | Apr 13,2020
Viewpoints | Jun 05,2021
View From Arada | Jul 24,2021
Radar | Nov 16,2019
Sunday with Eden | Nov 09,2019
Life Matters | May 14,2022
Films Review | Nov 09,2019
Editorial | May 24,2025
Fortune News | Apr 24,2021
My Opinion | 129908 Views | Aug 14,2021
My Opinion | 126216 Views | Aug 21,2021
My Opinion | 124226 Views | Sep 10,2021
My Opinion | 122008 Views | Aug 07,2021
Dec 22 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Charged with transforming colossal state-owned enterprises into modern and competitiv...
Aug 18 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Although predictable Yonas Zerihun's job in the ride-hailing service is not immune to...
Jul 28 , 2024 . By TIZITA SHEWAFERAW
Unhabitual, perhaps too many, Samuel Gebreyohannes, 38, used to occasionally enjoy a couple of beers at breakfast. However, he recently swit...
Jul 13 , 2024 . By AKSAH ITALO
Investors who rely on tractors, trucks, and field vehicles for commuting, transporting commodities, and f...
May 24 , 2025
Public hospitals have fallen eerily quiet lately. Corridors once crowded with patient...
May 17 , 2025
Ethiopia pours more than three billion Birr a year into academic research, yet too mu...
May 10 , 2025
Federal legislators recently summoned Shiferaw Teklemariam (PhD), head of the Disaste...
May 3 , 2025
Pensioners have learned, rather painfully, the gulf between a figure on a passbook an...
May 24 , 2025
First came the trickle, then the torrent. On a humid night in late March, a low-lying neighbourhood on Addis Abeba's southeastern fringe wat...
May 24 , 2025 . By BEZAWIT HULUAGER
When Moses Akuei received his geology degree from Wolaita Sodo University, the 27-year-old from South Sud...
May 24 , 2025 . By BEZAWIT HULUAGER
The Central Bank is launching a sweeping initiative to overhaul the agricultural finance system, targetin...
Federal legislators are considering a bill that would allow foreign nationals to lease land and own resid...
Loading your updates...