A recent altercation in my neighbourhood has made me reflect on the complexities of conflict, especially among women. While I have never been involved in a physical fight, I have often vented my anger through shouting rather than aggression. This incident, however, highlighted a different form of conflict and challenged my perspective on female disputes.
The fight started over a minor disagreement between a homeowner and her domestic worker. The worker’s refusal to clean the house before leaving her job escalated into a physical confrontation. What stood out to me was how quickly the situation intensified and how additional parties got involved.
The domestic worker, backed by her guarantor and a friend, outnumbered the homeowner, resulting in a one-sided assault. This imbalance of power is common in conflicts where one party feels marginalised or unheard. The involvement of the homeowner’s husband and a relative further escalated the situation, turning a private disagreement into a chaotic brawl involving multiple people.
The husband and relative’s reaction, slapping one of the women in the presence of police officers, was particularly disturbing. The husband’s anger, though understandable given his wife’s injuries, was expressed in a way that contradicted the principle he likely upheld: that men should never lay hands on women. The domestic worker responded accusing the husband of weakness for striking a woman.
The relative’s aggressive and threatening behaviour further inflamed the situation, creating a volatile atmosphere. In tense moments like these, emotions can spiral out of control, leading to irrational actions and escalating conflicts beyond resolution.
The incident reflects a mindset where individuals feel above the law and take matters into their own hands. Anger is natural for everyone, men and women alike, but men must make a conscious effort to stay calm and walk away when tempers flare. Striking someone is never acceptable under any circumstances.
While progress has been made toward gender equality, a long journey remains ahead. Society must now collectively work toward fostering a more positive and constructive form of masculinity. This requires a fundamental shift in societal expectations and a conscious effort to redefine what it means to be a man.
Traditionally, masculinity has been tied to aggression, dominance, and emotional suppression. This narrow definition has limited men and reinforced harmful gender stereotypes, perpetuating cycles of violence and inequality.
Instead of clinging to outdated notions, society must promote a new vision of masculinity where men are partners, collaborators, and allies to women. This involves creating an environment where men can express emotions, seek help, and embrace vulnerability without fear of judgment.
Society needs to challenge toxic masculinity, which glorifies aggression and dismisses empathy and compassion. Ridiculing men for showing kindness, gentleness, or respect reinforces harmful stereotypes. These qualities should be celebrated as strengths, not weaknesses.
Cultivating positive masculinity benefits everyone. When men break free from harmful stereotypes, they can contribute to a more just and compassionate society.
Though I did not speak with the homeowner, my sympathy lay with the domestic worker and her friends. I saw the men striking and threatening the women, while the domestic worker and her friends seemed to be defending themselves. This incident reflects a troubling reality: some employers withhold wages from domestic workers for months, not due to financial hardship but indifference. (I am not claiming this was the case here.) This behaviour is deeply unfair.
While it is true that some domestic workers have committed wrongdoings over the years, we must not forget that they have long endured mistreatment and exploitation.
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